Mathematics V.2.1.2

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* Pi now equals exactly 3.

* e now equals exactly 2.

* Fixed problem where division by zero led to undefined results.

* Fixed spelling mistake in description of Pythagorean theorem.

* The term “negative number” has been deemed offensive. The term “non-positive non-zero number” is now in use.

* Various optimisations now mean that all problems can be solved in polynomial time.

* Support is no longer offered for Imaginary Number Feature (i).

* Fixed problem where 1 = .999…

* Now compatible with Microsoft products (65536 <> 65535 <> 100000).

* Fixed problem that lead to the Axiom of Choice being undecidable.

* Implemented L’Hopital’s rule for non-indeterminate forms.

* Groups are now required to be abelian; former groups will now be called groupites.

* Fixed the Banach-Tarski cloning glitch.

* Removed the Proof By Contradiction exploit.

* Users may now enter the paradise Cantor created for us for a nominal monthly fee.

* Basic arithmetic is now complete and consistent.

* Fractals have been smoothed out to improve rendering.

* All matrices are now invertible, former matrices are now called matrons.

* Cantor’s dust has been swept from the servers.

* New valid method of proof: Proof by Example.

* All incompleteness theorems are now false. Anything can be proven or disproven.

* The halting problem is decidable.

* Anything can be written as an elementary function if we go far enough in calling something elementary.

* The Riemann Hypothesis is false.

* The Collatz Conjecture is false.

* Calculus now consists of only addition and subtraction.

* Fixed known bug where Fermat’s Last Theorem failed to hold for n=1 or n=2.

* Due to customer complaints about other implementations, the natural numbers now start at -1.

* After a successful beta test in category theory, proof by diagram chasing is now applicable across all of mathematics.

* During extended server downtime, problems will now slowly solve themselves, simulating the progress you would have been making.

* Fixed bug where large cardinals failed to show up in certain models of ZFC.

* Mobius Strip fixed to have two sides.

* Infinity has been nerfed to constant value of 1,000,000.

* Negative numbers now use differently colored numbers to reduce confusion.

* All numbers above 3 are now a suffusion of yellow.

* Subtraction has been removed, however it is still available on special subtraction servers.

* New Axiom: Axiom of Clarity. If after explaining a proof to someone for 5 minutes, if they still do not understand, they may use the Axiom of Clarity to assert the existence of a proof that your proof is invalid.

* In response to demand, elegant proofs of certain theorems have been shortened that they may fit into the margins of books as commentary.

* Research has shown that random numbers along a finite distribution were unfairly biased towards the digit one over other digits. This has been fixed.

* We are proud to unveil a new kind of super-calculus, which requires twenty people to complete even the most rudimentary calculations over a period of hours of collaborative work. We feel this new math will challenge those at the higher-end of the profession.

* New, epic applications of super-calculus have been implemented as well.

* “Proof by Wikipedia” is now a valid form of proof.

* Feature: Uniform probability measure for the real line has been added. Expect support for other spaces in subsequent versions.

* For a small monthly fee, all infinite series can be summed. All users will be allowed to use that 1 + 2 + 3 + … = -1/12 for a trial period of week.

* The math servers are going down soon to make way for the new BioWare math.

* Russell’s Paradox fixed – sets can now include themselves and not include themselves at the same time.

* For usability, numbers of the form a+bi have been made less complex.

* All “maths” not involving numbers has been split off into daughter projects so that Maths 2.1.2 can now fit in one brain.

* Everyone finally understands how abbreviations and number work, and now the singular word “mathematics” is properly abbreviated “math” worldwide.

* For improved security, several composite numbers have been defined as “unfactorisable” for use as RSA keys.

* Probability distributions standardised to all return proven random number “4″.

* 1/0 now equals infinity+1

* All powers of i beyond 7 have been fixed to equal 1, -1, i, and -i where needed.

* Symbol now designated for infinity to the power of infinity.

* Method for calculating roots and fractional powers available as open source code

* Halting problem solved.

* Halting problem of above solver solved.

* Halting problem of above solver solved as well.

* Halting problem of how many halting problem solvers we’ll need solved.

* Paradoxes that arise from above solver’s solution solved.

* Halting problem of… oh god, it’s an infinite cycle!