Windows vs Linux

NOZAGTS NAURA JOKS!!

Joks sākas apmēram 12 sec un ir līdz apmēram 15 sec :d

If People Bought Cars Like They Buy Computers

General Motors doesn’t have a “help line” for people who don’t know how to drive, because people don’t buy cars like they buy computers — but imagine if they did….

Call No. 1

HELPLINE: “General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?”

CUSTOMER: “I got in my car and closed the door, and nothing happened!”

HELPLINE: “Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?”

CUSTOMER: “What’s an ignition?”

HELPLINE: “It’s a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine.”

CUSTOMER: “Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all of these technical terms just to use my car?”

Call No. 2

HELPLINE: “General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?”

CUSTOMER: “My car ran fine for a week, and now it won’t go anywhere!”

HELPLINE: “Is the gas tank empty?”

CUSTOMER: “Huh? How do I know?”

HELPLINE: “There’s a little guage on the front panel, with a needle, and markings from ‘E’ to ‘F.’ Where is the needle pointing?”

CUSTOMER: “It’s pointing to ‘E.’ What does that mean?”

HELPLINE: “It means that you have to visit a gasoline vendor, and purchase some more gasoline. You can install it yourself, or pay the vendor to install it for you.”

CUSTOMER: “What!? I paid $$12,000 for this car! Now you tell me that I have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with everything built in!”

Call No. 3

HELPLINE: “General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?”

CUSTOMER: “Your car sucks!”

HELPLINE: “What’s wrong?”

CUSTOMER: “It crashed, that’s what went wrong!”

HELPLINE: “What were you doing?”

CUSTOMER: “I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor. It worked for a while, and then it crashed — and now it won’t start!”

HELPLINE: “It’s your responsibility if you misuse the product. What do you expect us to do about it?”

CUSTOMER: “I want you to send me one of the latest versions that doesn’t crash anymore!”

Call No. 4

HELPLINE: “General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?”

CUSTOMER: “Hi! I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power brakes, and power door locks.”

HELPLINE: “Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?”

CUSTOMER: “How do I work it?”

HELPLINE: “Do you know how to drive?”

CUSTOMER: “Do I know how to what?”

HELPLINE: “Do you know how to drive?”

CUSTOMER: “I’m not a technical person! I just want to go places in my car!”

copy un paste no šejienes.

Dont Judge Too Quickly… We Wont

Atliek tik ieķeksēt!

FEELS GOD MAN

KO ES ATRADU!!!

GOT MOAR?

Nigger post 2.5

OMFG :D Show me your genitals :D

btw nelielas autortiesības Rihardam Zīrākam- viņa profilā uzgāju šo ģeniālo meistardarbu

Whiteboys

What do you call a white guy who needs to go somewhere across town but does not own an automobile?
A taxi.

Why did the white man cross the road?
Because he needed something that was on the other side of the road.

What do you say when you see a white man carrying a TV?
“Excuse me sir, you dropped your receipt!”

What do you call a mob of white people at the University of Maryland burning down the city?
A Maryland championship.

What do you call a mob of white people in Detriot burning down the city?
A hockey victory.

What do you call a mob of white people in Alabama?
A lynching.

What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA

What do you call a white guy on “Jeopardy?”
A contestant.

What did the white guy see when looking at his family tree?
A straight line.

What does a white man do when he is unhappy with our current government decisions?
He writes a letter.

What does a white man do at the club?
Pout while all the colored folk are bumpin’ & grindin’ with all of his fine white bitches.

What does a white man say when he catches his wife cheating on him?
“I forgive you”

What do you call a white man in court?
The lawyer.

What did the white woman do after she spilled hot coffee on her legs?
File a lawsuit.

How do you stop five white guys from raping a white woman?
Throw them a golf ball.

What do you call a white man in the ghetto?
A victim.

What do you call a white cop?
Police brutality.

Why do white people like to play hockey?
It’s the only other way to beat something black up if they’re not a cop.

How did the white boy come out of the grocery store with a six pack?
He walked in and payed for it.

You know what sucks about being white?
Not much, really. I mean, there are starving people in Africa, and all those tsunami victims in Asia…I’d say we’re pretty lucky.